Ms. Solo Dolo: The Adventurer
One of my favorite songs from Kid Cudi‘s “Man On the Moon: The End of Day” album is Solo Dolo (Nightmare) which resonates deep in my spirit. In the song, Cudi is primarily focusing on his lonely feelings in the world and how he escapes reality through his dreams. Recently my partner asked me why I don’t have any friends in Atlanta. My brain froze and could not think of a significant answer because it isn’t something I often think about. Really and truly, I have a few casual friends, but they either live in the suburbs of Atlanta or live outside of Columbus. We’ll drop into each other’s lives like a rollercoaster and go to brunch like the older millennials that we are. Black millennial women love a bougie brunch. My tight circle of friends lives in California, Arizona, Mississippi, and Florida respectively and our relationships are over 20 plus years old. However, by my partner’s definition of friendship, I don’t have any friends in Atlanta. 🤷🏾♀️
I always said that you have to date yourself, you have to enjoy your own company. I love my own company and have no problem going out to events and doing things by myself. I developed this habit when I lived in the city of Jackson. There were times when I wanted to do something, either T or D were not available to go so I would just go by myself. I continued doing things alone when I moved to Atlanta. As I learned more and more about myself as an introvert, I realized that I am a social introvert. According to Susan Cain’s book “Quiet”, a social introvert is a person who prefers solitude and quiet environments, excels at one-on-one conversations and in more intimate settings, finds social interactions draining, and may require more time alone to recharge. Maybe I need an emotional support extrovert to do things with, but for now, I enjoy my solo dolo adventures.
Recently, I went to see the Alvin Ailey American Dance Theater’s Revelations at the Fox Theatre. The performance was beautiful and awe-inspiring. Afterward, I went to 12 Cocktail Bar at Ponce City Market, had a glass of Prosecco, and sat at the bar talking to the bartenders. I thoroughly enjoyed myself that evening. Now it would’ve been great to share that experience with someone, but at the end of the day, it was something that I have crossed off on my 40th bucket list. Just 39 more things to go. 😆 I value my friendships wholeheartedly and do not enter into close friendships lightly. Embracing the world of solo dolo adventuring can be a transformative experience, offering a range of benefits that contribute to personal growth and self-fulfillment. Let’s delve into the many advantages of solo dolo adventuring.
Self-Exploration: It provides an opportunity for deep self-exploration. By engaging in activities you genuinely enjoy, you can tap into your interests, passions, and desires without any external influences. This allows you to discover new facets of your personality and better understand who you truly are.
Freedom and Flexibility: You have complete control over the activities, destinations, and timelines, enabling you to design your perfect adventure. Whether you want to explore a new city, try out a new hobby, or simply spend a quiet day at a museum, the choice is yours.
Self-Care and Well-being: It allows you to carve out dedicated time for yourself, away from the hustle and bustle of daily life. Engaging in activities that bring you joy, whether it’s indulging in a spa day or taking a long hike in nature, promotes relaxation, rejuvenation, and overall emotional well-being.
Confidence Building: Stepping out of your comfort zone and challenging you to be more independent and self-reliant, helping you to trust your discernment and make decisions that align with your desires. Your self-assurance grows and leads to increased confidence in all aspects of your life.
Enhanced Social Skills: As you venture out on your own, you may find yourself striking up conversations with new people, joining group activities, or even forming connections with fellow solo adventurers. These interactions can broaden your social circle, create new casual friendships, and enhance your ability to connect with others. (Still working on this one because I dislike small talk.)
Long story short, value your close friendships your way, spoil yourself endlessly, enjoy your own company, and be a solo adventurer occasionally.
Until next time… *besos* LA
Citations:
Genius. (n.d.). Kid Cudi - Solo Dolo (Nightmare) Lyrics. Retrieved June 2, 2023, from https://genius.com/Kid-cudi-solo-dolo-nightmare-lyrics
Cain, S. (2012). Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can’t Stop Talking. Crown Publishing Group.
